Stopping Men From Staring At Girls?

I can’t believe this actually happened. A 20-year-old Eastern Kentucky University girl was enjoying a Sunday trip at the mall when she was asked by a security guard to leave because older women were complaining that their husbands were checking out her short dress, according to The Richmond Register.

You know, this reminds me of the time that I visited my old high school, while new additions were being built onto it. I was given an impromptu tour by an old teacher and he showed me and my best friend, who was with me, one of the new classrooms.

The classroom had such a hideous color painted on its walls that my mind has prevented me from truly recall what the color was. I think it might have been a combination of black, purple and charcoal black, if it’s possible.

Anyway, I asked my tour guide why in the world would the school decide to use a color that made puke green warm and friendly. He told me with a straight face that studies showed that it would prevent young, male teens from checking out the girls and would help them concentrate on their studies.

I told him there wasn’t a color that would stop any teen guy from trying to look up a girl’s skirt or down her shirt. He basically agreed with me and I could tell that he thought the idea was stupid too.

Just like it’s stupid in making a security guard to escort a college girl out of a mall because a couple of husbands were enjoying the view. And it’s something that apparently women haven’t been able to figure out yet, at least these old biddies.

From Albert Einstein to the guy who can’t understand the complexities of “No shoes, No service,” all men enjoy looking at women, either clothed or nude. We can’t help it. We could be married to a tattoo-, STD-free Pamela Anderson who is 15 years younger and it wouldn’t stop us from looking at the young checkout girl at a food store who is handling our huge cucumbers and placing them in the grocery bag. And hey, we don’t care if it’s paper or plastic!

Each one of us has a man-pig inside who roars a primitive howl of approval if we even see so much as a hint of anything from an attractive woman. Maybe it’s a reproductive gene that helps us to mate with our species and help populate the planet.

But surely you women can understand this biological need in men to stare at other women. Sure, we have beautiful wives or girlfriends, but to put it in terms that you can understand, you have a great pair of shoes at home. But you have an irresistible need to look at nearly 50 identical ones at 20 different stores and buying at least three pair and bringing them home. Sadly, most of us men don’t have that luxury of bringing home a new girl from the mall. It’s simply not fair to us men and it’s actually quite sexist I think.

But if you don’t want your husbands or boyfriends from checking out the new models, then you need to leave them at home. We don’t have that much self-control. In fact, you women are lucky we don’t whip it out and urinate on a mannequin at J. Crew!

If you want your guys to stop looking at these young, tender college students, who may or may not have appeared on “Girls Gone Wild,” then put blinders on them. Actually, that won’t work, so just gouge their eyes out. On second thought, that still won’t stop a man from fantasizing about looking at a beautiful woman.

Sorry ladies, but you’ll just have to lobotomize your man the next time you want him to take you to the mall.